Episode 3 - The Bad For You Show

Once every couple months or so, Roxanne heads out for a few days on a business trip. After the obligatory "Who's gonna feed the dogs?" and "What am I going to eat?", I get to thinking "What would Paula Deen do?"

Here are three of my favorite batching it recipes: Buffalo wings, a blooming onion and lime cheesecake. The wings and cheesecake are very easy to make. The only challenge with the blooming onion is cutting it up, but the job is tremendously easier if you use an onion bloomer.

Special thanks go to UK DJ Noriko, aka James Postlethwaite, for allowing us to close this episode with his creation "Hitachi HDD Project" created entirely out of the sounds Hitachi hard drives make when they're failing.




Buffalo wings
Prep time: 30 minutes
Cooking time: 15 minutes
Serves 4-6
Special tools: Deep fryer or deep skillet

Ingredients:
Vegetable oil for frying
1/4 cup butter
1/4 cup Crystal Louisiana Hot Sauce or Frank's Red Hot Cayenne Sauce
Dash of ground pepper
Dash of garlic powder
1/2 cup all purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon paprika
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1/3 teaspoon salt
20 chicken wing pieces

Directions

1. Heat vegetable oil in a deep skillet or fryer to 375 degrees.
2. Combine butter, hot sauce ground pepper and garlic powder in a small saucepan. Heat until butter melts and ingredients are blended.
3. Combine flour, paprika, cayenne pepper and salt in a small bowl.
4. Wash and pat dry wings and put them in a large bowl. Sprinkle flour mixture over them so they're coated evenly. Stick the wings in the fridge for 90 minutes.
5. Mix individual bowls of bleu cheese dressing with extra bleu cheese crumbs. Wash and cut celery into three inch pieces. Set these aside.
6. Put the wings in the hot oil and cook for 10-15 minutes until they start to turn brown. Remove and place on a plate covered with a paper towel to drain.
7. As soon as they've drained, put them in a large bowl or Tupperware container and pour on the hot sauce. Mix them so they're evenly coated.
8. Serve wings with celery sticks and bleu cheese dressing.

Onion Bloom
Prep time: 35 minutes
Cooking time: 10-15 minutes each
Serves 2-4
Special tools: Deep fryer, deep skillet; onion bloom cutter (recommended)

Dipping sauce
Ingredients:
1/2 cup mayonnaise
2 teaspoons ketchup
2 tablespoons cream-style horseradish
1/4 teaspoon paprika
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon dried oregano
Dash coarse ground pepper
Dash cayenne pepper

1. Combine all ingredients in a small bowl, cover it and stick it in the refrigerator until you need it.

Onion Blossom
Ingredients:
1 egg
1 cup milk
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 1/2 teaspoons cayenne pepper
1 teaspoon paprika
1/2 teaspoon course ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon dried oregano
1/8 teaspoon dried thyme
1/8 teaspoon cumin
1 jumbo Vidalia or sweet yellow onion (3/4 pound or more)
Vegetable oil for frying

Directions

1. Beat the egg and combine with milk in a bowl large enough to hold the onion.
2. In a different bowl, mix flour, salt, cayenne and black pepper, paprika oregano, thyme and cumin.
3. Slice 3/4 inch off the top of the onion and remove the papery skin part.
4. Now comes the most challenging part - blooming the onion.
5. Use a big, very sharp sharp non-serrated-edge knife and cut the onion 3/4 of the way down. You need to cut it up to 16 times. The easiest way to do it is to pick up an onion bloom cutter off ebay - $3. The final slices are touchy, but you can do it. It might not be perfect, but it will still look great.
6. Once the onion is cut, drop it in boiling water for two to five minutes, then cold water for one minute. This will loosen up the petals and make it substantially easier to coat the onion with the bread coating.
7. Set the onion on a plate and use the point of a knife to tug the petals apart. They want to stick together.
8. Dip the onion in the milk mixture, set it on a plate and coat it with the dry mixture. Coat it as evenly as possible. Once coated, you can dip it back in the milk, then back to the plate and coat it again with the dry stuff. It's not necessary, but ensures more breading.
9. Stick the onion in the fridge for 15 minutes. Start heating the oil and get it up to 375 degrees.
10. When the oil is ready, drop the onion in right side up. Cook 10 minutes or until it turns brown. When it's done, remove it from the oil and set it on a plate with paper towels to dry.
11. As the oil drains, use the point of a steak knife to open the petals to make it look like a bloom.
12. Serve with individual bowls or one big bowl of the dipping sauce.

Key Lime Cheesecake
Prep time: 40 minutes
Cooking time: 50-60 minutes (plus one more hour to cool in the fridge)
Serves 4-6
Special tools: An 8-inch spring form pan ($7-$20)

Ingredients:
2 cups Graham cracker crumbs
6 tablespoons butter, melted
1 cup plus 1 tablespoon sugar
3 8-ounce packages cream cheese, softened to room temperature
1 teaspoon vanilla
1/2 cup fresh lime juice (5-6 limes)
3 eggs
Whipped cream

Directions

1. Heat oven to 350 degrees
2. Crush Graham crackers and mix crumbs with butter and 1 tablespoon butter in a bowl. Coat all crumbs. Keep it crumbly.
3. Press crumbs into bottom and sides of spring form pan. Have the crumbs go half way up the sides of the pan. This is supposed to take 1 3/4 cups of Graham crackers, but I always make extra to use as Spackle for the thin spots.
4. Bake in oven for 5 minutes, then set it aside.
5. In a bowl, combine cream cheese, 1 cup sugar and vanilla. Mix (with a blender if you have one) until they're smooth. Add lime juice and eggs and mix until creamy.
6. Pour this filling into Graham cracker crust pan.
7. Fill a Pyrex pan with water and place it on the bottom of the oven or on a rack below the cheesecake. The water will keep the cheesecake from collapsing when you take it out of the oven and it also allows for more even cooking of the filling.
   
8. Bake for 50-60 minutes. When the top of the cheesecake turns light brown, it's done.
9. Set it aside to cool. Once it's at room temperature, stick it in the fridge for at least an hour to chill. Once it's cold, pop the spring on the pan. You can now cut it and go nuts with the whipped cream.

Episode 2 - The Rum Show

Roxanne told David she'd make him a carrot cake for his birthday. She decided to kick it up a notch and add rum. Then she got carried away cooking with the golden elixir. The recipes for this show include Rum Carrot Cake with Rum Cream Cheese Frosting, Almost Bermuda Fish Chowder, and Rum Sticky Buns.

Rum Carrot Cake

Ingredients:
2 c. flour
2 tsp. baking soda
2 tsp. baking powder
1/4 tsp. salt
1 tsp. cinnamon
1 tsp. allspice
1 tsp. ground cloves
1 tsp. nutmeg
2 c. sugar
1 1/2 c. oil
4 eggs
1/4 c. dark rum
1 tsp. grated lemon or orange zest
16 oz. grated raw carrots - about 4 cups
1/2 c. chopped walnuts

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease a 10 inch bundt pan or 10 mini bundts. In a mixing bowl, combine flour, baking soda, baking powder, salt, and spices.
2. In a separate large mixing bowl, beat sugar and oil with electric mixer until creamy. Add eggs, one at a time, and beat for 2-3 minutes. Add rum and zest.
3. Stir in flour mixture 1/2 cup at a time. Using a spatula, add carrots and walnuts, and mix until well blended.
4. Turn batter into prepared pan(s). Bake for 1 hour and 15 minutes. Remove cake from oven and allow to cool in pan. Remove cake from pan and frost.
   

Rum Cream Cheese Frosting

Ingredients:
8 oz. cream cheese, softened
6 Tbsp. butter, softened
3 Tbsp. rum
1 box (16 oz.) confectioners' sugar

1. Using an electric mixer, blend cream cheese and butter until smooth, then add rum.
2. Add sugar 1/2 cup at a time. Drip frosting over cooled cake.
   

Rum Sticky Buns
Ingredients:3 lbs. frozen bread dough, thawed OR homemade dough,
depending on how much time you want to invest

Topping:
1 1/2 c. pecan halves
1 1/4 c. brown sugar
1/2 c. dark corn syrup
1/2 c. rum
1 c. butter

Filling:
1/2 stick butter, melted
6 Tbsp. brown sugar
6 Tbsp. sugar
4 tsp. cinnamon

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees.

1. Make topping:
a. Butter a 13 by 9-inch baking dish. Cover bottom of dish with the pecans.
b. In a high-sided saute pan, combine brown sugar, corn syrup, and butter, and over low heat, whisk until melted and smooth. Turn heat up and add rum and bring to boil, stirring continuously. Boil for one minute while whisking constantly. Pour mixture over the pecans. Set aside.

2. Make filling:
a. Melt butter and set aside.
b. In a small mixing bowl, combine brown sugar, sugar and cinnamon.

3. Assemble sticky buns:
a. Roll 1 lb. dough into 12 by 16-inch rectangle.
b. Brush with melted butter.
c. Sprinkle with filling mix.
d. Roll dough from the long side, like a jelly roll.
e. Cut into 8 two-inch sections and place in baking dish cut side down.
f. Repeat with the other 2 lbs. bread dough.
g. The rolled buns will be snug but there should be (a little) room for the dough to rise. Cover the dish with a towel or foil and set in a warm place for about 20 minutes.
h. Bake for 45-50 minutes, or until the buns are toasty and the rum syrup is bubbling.
i. Let cool in pan for 5 minutes, then carefully invert the buns onto a cookie sheet or large serving platter. Best served warm.

Almost Bermuda Fish Chowder
Ingredients:Stage one:
1 medium onion, diced
1 red bell pepper, diced
1 leek (white and pale green parts only), chopped
2-3 carrots, shredded
2 large garlic cloves, minced
3 T. olive oil
4 c. low sodium chicken broth
3 c. water
1 T. each of whole allspice and peppercorns, plus 1 bay leaf, tied in a cheesecloth package
4 c. diced potatoes
Stage two:
2-3 lb. firm, cleaned white fish such as cod or snapper (about 6 fillets)
1 (28 oz. can) crushed tomatoes in puree
1-2 tsp. hot pepper sauce
1/2 tsp. dried thyme leaves or 1/4 t. ground thyme
1 tsp. paprika
Stage three:
2 T. lime or lemon juice
2 (6.5 oz.) cans of chopped clams with juice
1 lb (about) medium shrimp, shelled and deveined
1 T. Worcestershire sauce (optional)
1/4 cup rum
Final touches: 2 T Sherry pepper sauce **, chopped parsley

** Sherry Hot Pepper Sauce: Before cooking, marinate 1-2 minced scotch bonnet peppers in 6 oz. sherry. The longer they sit, the spicier it gets. Set aside.

1. Stage one: In a 6-quart wide heavy pot , saute onion, bell pepper, leek, carrots, and garlic in olive oil over moderate heat until translucent, stirring frequently. Stir in stock and water, drop in spice cheesecloth packet, and bring to a boil. Reduce heat and add potatoes. Simmer, uncovered, 20 minutes.
2. Stage two: Add fish fillets, canned crushed tomatoes, thyme, paprika and hot pepper sauce. Simmer 20 minutes.
3. Stage three: Add clams, shrimp, lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, and rum. Simmer 10-15 minutes. Stir in Sherry pepper sauce. Sprinkle with parsley and serve.

Episode 1 - The Ribs Show

The inspiration for our kickoff show came from ribs Jim had at Fat Matt's Rib Shack in Atlanta, GA. The meat fell off the bone, the rum baked beans were fantastic, and he mopped the whole thing up with a side of garlic bread.

Jim uses store-bought BBQ sauce in this show, but we're open to any suggestions for your favorite or homemade sauce. Roxanne's rum baked beans are out of this world. And you'll want to have plenty of garlic bread on hand; the recipe's simple and people will scarf it down.




BBQ ribs
Prep time: 20 minutes
Cooking time: 3-4 hours
Serves 4-6

Ingredients:
8 lbs of pork ribs
7 15-ounce bottles of bbq sauce
1 12-ounce porter beer

1. Wash the ribs, cut them so you have two ribs apiece and then cut between the two connected ribs most of the way so they're easier to eat once they're cooked. Get a big pot of water boiling and boil them for 20 minutes.
2. Set the oven for "broil" while the ribs are boiling. Place the boiled ribs in a baking pan and coat them with BBQ sauce. Stick them in the over and let them cook until the BBQ sauce carmelizes and gets good and dark (but not black). Flip them over and do the same to the other side. This can be as little as 3-5 minutes. You want to get them looking like they just came in off the BBQ.
3. Dump four bottles of BBQ sauce into the crock pot and add the bottle of porter. Arrange the ribs in the crock pot and top with more BBQ sauce as needed. Cook on "high" for three hours. Check every once in a while and add beer if needed.
4. They'll be ready after three hours, but I usually give them another 30 minutes. Serve with a side of BBQ sauce for dipping.

Rum baked beans
Prep time: 25 minutes
Cooking time: 60 minutes
Serves 4-6

Ingredients:
1/3 pound thick-sliced bacon
1 large red onion, diced
3 15-ounce cans white beans
1 cup low sodium chicken broth
1/2 cup water
5 tablespoons dark brown sugar
2 teaspoons ground mustard
4 tablespoons unsulphured mild flavor molasses
2 heaping teaspoons freshly ground ginger root
1/4 cup rum (I used Sailor Jerry Spiced Navy rum)

1. Empty the three cans of beans into a colander and wash under tap water to wash off whatever juice and seasonings they came with. Set them aside.
2. Dice half an onion (so you have a little more than one cup's worth).
3. Slice the bacon into small strips and begin sauteing in a skillet over medium heat.
4. When bacon is about half cooked (not yet crispy), add the onion and continue sauteing on medium heat until onions begin to turn translucent and bacon is browned.
5. Take the skillet off of the heat and add the beans, chicken broth, mustard, brown sugar, molasses and ginger. If you can, grate the fresh ginger over the skillet so the juice drips into the beans.
6. Cover the pan and simmer at a medium-low heat for 20 minutes - you just want it to bubble softly - this will boil away some of the liquid.
7. Turn off the heat and add the rum. Let the beans sit for 15 minutes before serving to allow the beans to absorb more liquid and flavors.
8. Right before serving, sprinkle 1/2 teaspoon of diced onions.

Garlic bread
Prep time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 5 minutes
Serves 8

Ingredients:
1 loaf sourdough bread
5 cloves of garlic
1 stick of butter
Italian seasoning

1. Mush five cloves of garlic in a garlic press or otherwise dice them up really tiny. Melt a stick of butter and add the garlic and a few shakes of Italian seasoning. Slice the sourdough bread loaf lengthwise and brush it with the liquid, making sure to spread the garlic around.
2. Turn the oven on broil and toast them til the top gets crispy.